Wednesday, 23 February 2011
A dying swan takes some sitting on: a Cover-up on an album-cover? All’s calm on the surface; the river’s swanless, the record’s swan-songless - although not quite thongless - notice the Air on the G-String (is there a pubic h missing?), and look at the horse - he senses ‘monkey business’, he recognizes a ‘swan-wrister’ when he sees one.
And the swan-wrister’s wife: is she hatching a swan? Or trying to conceal the fact that she’s riding a white swan? Or are we (along with the blameless horse) witnesses to a ‘cover-up’ on an album cover, in the aftermath of a swan-murder? It’s a well-known fact that a swan can break a man’s arm with one flap of its wing. That explains the limp wrist. As to the rest, like the horse, I know exactly what happened.
It’s 1973 and inspired by the T-Rex song, ‘Ride A White Swan’ (1970), the blonde in the hat does just that… as the song goes: ‘ Wear a tall hat and a tattooed gown/Ride a white swan…’ But the swan’s having none this swan song and gets into a flap. The husband comes to the rescue: grabs hold of the swan’s throat (between his wife’s legs: sex and death are closely entwined) and attempts to wring its neck. The swan flaps, the husband’s wrist snaps. At this point a photographer comes punting down the river. The couple (she, still sur la swan) compose themselves for a picture. The photographer says ‘look at the birdie’. She does, literally: look at the evil eye she’s giving the swan - the kind of guilty look you have when you are covering up – sitting on something - something that shouldn’t be sat upon. They almost got away with it, except you can just see a bit of swan’s beak, craning round the wireless, and it’s not playing hide and seek.
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Monday, 14 February 2011
Friday, 11 February 2011
White swan – black eyes: I match the swan in these ‘Swan Vistas’ (partner the swan?). I’ve just been to see 'Black Swan' (2010. Director, Darren Aronofsky) - watched Natalie Portman arm-flapping her way through ‘Swan Lake’ – that’s the ballet with all the expressive arm-flapping, right?
I was told as a youngster, ‘Stay away from swans - they can break your arm with one flap of their wings’… and is it a myth that swans sometimes land on roads because they think they are rivers when wet?
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Crime paid: by threatening to blow-up quarries they built up an empire; they had country houses, and houses in the town, and they collected motorcars like children collect toys (and remember, it was in the days when you had to be rich to own a car). This brings me to their death. They died together, but not as you might imagine, ‘in action’ - killed in the act, in some quarry. No. One Sunday they were driving from their town house to their country house, when someone dropped a brick off a bridge onto their car. They both died instantly. But their legacy lives on - is set in stone - working quarries still salute them - pay tribute - with a loud siren noise, followed by ‘a two minute silence’, prior to every explosion.
Saturday, 5 February 2011
When having their photograph taken some sitters never quite know what to do with their hands (short of sitting on them). A very frequent fault, and one that usually betrays the agitation of the sitter, consist of tangled digits. Even more orderly clasped hands are apt to be disagreeable. The hands should be posed in such a manner that the individual digits are clearly defined. When posing, the sitter should imagine that they are clutching, no, wearing a holed house-brick - like a knuckle-duster - on each hand.