Sitting With Their Hands In Their Lap, Sharing The Same Knee to Forehead Gap

Pontins Postcard Logic

"I... I got you all sticky..."

Shoe Pastry

Shoe pastry = choux pastry

Choux (pronounced ‘shoe’) pastry, or puff pastry, is the basis of a number of great pastry delicacies, including cream puffs, eclairs, and some types of turnovers.

Here’s a simple recipe you can use:

½ shoe of lard

1 ¼ shoe of water

1 ¼ shoe of flour

4 eggs, beaten in a size 4 shoe

(if you haven’t any eggs, golf balls will do, so long as they are beaten – hit - in a size 4 shoe)

Short Fat Poem

When travelling abroad,

Hide your credit card in a block of lard.

It’ll never be stolen.

Safer than in a salad, where it could be eaten.

And when the cash machine eats your card,

And you’re left fingering a fatty slot,

Praise the lard

For making the bank fat. 

Trimming The Fat

High Heel Sundial

Contact With Lard

They're Happy Because They Eat People

Issued By The Lard Information Council