Thursday, 28 January 2010

McTonsils: Crowley Coda

I’ve just received a communiqué from a devil-worshiper. He says he can see the head of the diabolist, Aleister Crowley, in one of the tonsils (the inflamed right tonsil - on the left as we look at it).
It is unfortunate that, Aleister Crowley, a man of peculiar and unsavoury reputation, whose biography entitled, ‘The Great Beast’, and whose writings include, ‘White Stains’; ‘A Boyhood in Hell’ and ‘The Book of Lies’, should be in any way associated with a cow-crucifying, pig-pulping, family-friendly, fast-food venture, like McTonsils.
It was even rumoured Crowley ate his own shit: if the Press get their teeth into that, our Big Mouths will be closed before they’ve had a chance to open; and surely it’s a myth that he ate babies? But the Great Beast didn't do much to dispel it: Look at his self-portrait - as a devouring demon; Crowley comes over as the Maternity ward's answer to Dr Shipman.
If this Crowley connection gets out we won’t be able to recruit the staff – the burger vendors to work in the tonsils. It’s one thing, to thrust burgers into cars from tonsils. But when the tonsil resembles the ‘Great Beast’! That's something else entirely: you can't feed young children, dead meat, from the head of (through the mouth of) a baby eater. It’s bad enough having to work – handle meat - in a mouth: but who in their right mind would want to get inside the head of Aleister Crowley?

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