Locker Room Umpire's Chair

Whilst we are all familiar with the umpire’s high chair out on the tennis court, few of us are aware of the existence of the other umpire’s chair, that high chair locked away in the locker room. Out on the tennis court one of the umpire’s jobs is to preside over something called ‘change of balls’ (this happens after the first nine games of a match, then after the next eleven, then the next nine, then the next eleven and so on). The locker room umpire, he or she, sort of mirrors this task (if you could call it a task); one of his/her jobs is to observe ‘the changing of clothes’, or to use layman’s terms, ‘watch people undressing’. But the locker-room umpire’s main job (if you could call it a career - queer sort of career) - his raison d'être - is to umpire ‘play’ in the shower.