Bench Cuisine

Known this bench for 22 years, and in all that time I’ve never seen anyone eating on the bench or, the bench eating anything sitting on it. Yet now, just as I’m about to leave London to go and live in Brighton, I keep coming across ‘bench cuisine’.

It started off quite innocently - like all good bench meals – with bread. But the foods soon turned much darker (and I don’t mean toast). It was as if the bench knew I was leaving and had decided to try and keep me in London, and as every park bench knows: the way to a man’s heart is through his seat. 

In his book, Teach Us To Sit Still (2011), Tim Parks - no relation to the bench – does some research on the Aneros anal massage and sex toy: ‘God knows why the male G spot was put up the arse but there we go, if its done correctly along with stimulation of the penis the orgasm is out of this world! Try it!’

Sandwiched between the two bread images (in bread with?) - the first made in January, the latest yesterday - was a bench cuisine menu so bizarre that, I just had to keep going back for more.

To be continued…