Friday, 3 September 2010

A Word About Coffee-Filter-Bags

The line that separates good taste from bad seems sometimes no wider than a hair, but it is important to be able to recognise where it lies (or if it harbours pubic lice). The representation of the nude is strangely hedged about with inhibitions, prohibitions, taboos, and a general state of pubic bashfulness, and nothing but good taste (in coffee) can guide you.
Consider the matter of pubic hair. Concealment may often be effected by the use of a coffee-filter-bag. But avoid any form of concealment – drapery - that fails to conceal itself, for this is worse of all.
The Post Office generally takes a dim view of pubic hair and its representation in windowed envelopes as ipso facto evidence of obscene intent. 
A word about Coffee-Filter-Bags
Don’t try to make sense of coffee-filter-bags, or reduce them to rational terms. Least of all garments can they be justified on utilitarian (coffee) grounds: obviously, they are not devised to filter vision (dirty visions?), like a fig leaf. The pubic triangle and the coffee-filter-bag are not only related by their tobleronearity, both filter dirt entering the body. To the feminine taste, their decorative qualities are frequently elusive. But to the male they speak in an obscure code of emotional values, representing a sort of passionate catharsis, tragic sometimes, more often gay, exuberant or defiant, entirely personal always. However, mere man should not attempt to say whether a certain lady wears a certain coffee-filter-bag at a certain time because she is happy or because she is unhappy – exuberance, filtered or unfiltered.
A coffee-filter-bag on a coathanger resembles an umbrella. An unused – virgin - coffee-filter-bag could also be worn as a hat. The French composer, Poulenc (I adore his music), always wore a hat, and by looking at it you could tell at a glace if he were depressed, and wished to be left alone. It was easy. If he was ‘down’ he wore his hat with the rim turned down. Alternatively, an upturned rim said, say hello, I’m happy today. And Freud makes some interesting suggestions about hats, providing them with a background of unconscious sexual symbolism. Since this blog is designed for the family circle, we shall not further elaborate. 

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