It's Sunday and I'm up early having dreamed of a white breakfast. So I'm having porridge with Oatly milk, mashed banana, plain soya yoghurt and salt. Have to look after myself as I'm a mature student. Well, not that old - semi-mature. No, more demi-mature. Hell, I'm two years younger than Demi Moore. But it's Bruce Willis i woke up thinking about this morning. When he married Demi Moore, at the Golden Nugget Hotel, Las Vegas back in 1987, I remember thinking of them as so much older than me. Sitting alone here with soya I'm thinking, I'm about the same age as them now, which means I must have been their age then. I feel ill knowing now what I should have known then. Here, I'm looking at a photo of myself from 1987.
Back in 87 I was bombing about the country in my Mini delivering letters. As other couples (my age) were getting married I'd just started getting my first words out. Sentences came a year or so later. Look, I'm still in my back-to-school bra. I'f I blow this up you can just make it out. I'd pad it out with Eccles cakes (currents gave me confidence, as black fruits did in those days). I suppose my Eccles cakes could be thought of as the first air bags. All those layers of lardy puff-pastry could have saved my life (but prevented me from getting to close to a wife). And I'm glad I didn't have an accident. It's right what they say about underwear and accidents.
Here, you can see them better here
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